Phantoms

I know there is some landscape done on the other side of the block I stay in. Just that I never ventured in though it is just across the street in the same compound. I used to get a glance every now and then just to see there are thick tall trees making you feel evenings in bright sun too. Pond with thick green waters and fountains that you would like to walk by but never touch the waters. Few flowering bushes flocks of different ducks, ducklings and geese around. Minimal or literally none dwelling this private scenic space.  I never knew the depth of this space.

A thick dark evening …. Yes you heard it right. After a hearty early dinner me and my friends wanted to go for a walk around this pond. My friends used to walk this pond regularly in the evening though not always in the dark. It was a winter evening with no moon clear skies at 08:00 PM. We started the walk where there was Faint Street light and as we walked in ….. Gosh!!! Thick darkness around! Though my friends were confident about the place it is a new space where I couldn’t take the next step. It was not spooky yet just following their voices with hands tucked into my pockets. Uhhh! What an experience and at a point I wanted to tell them we better head back as my spine is chilling up. The thick trees were thick blankets covering the skies and the pond. There is nothing much up there for the almost still dark pond to reflect. It was not eerie but just that I din knew the ways to walk while my friends guide me through too many turns and the criss-cross paths, bridges across the pond just following their voice.  Bet you, I couldn’t see or feel anything. It was a 20 min walk and what a feel! Every step was with zero confidence and knowledge. I don’t even know where my next step would be. Either into the water (I don’t know to swim), onto the rocks beside the walk ways, on the walk ways or onto something else… Well! All is well!

Sometimes it is just one not so needed casual thought that puts us through the rides that thrill. After the walk, when I was out at once I feel so relieved that my blood started warming up again and can you guess the statements I made?

“Folks this is not a good idea to get into these woods so late. There is too much of carbon dioxide you know trees emit CO2 after sunset….. We could have done something better. Let us not do this again”

I did not admit to it being a terrific thriller for my heart J

Live Vs Win

Is life more about winning than living?

Is living with a simple smile not enough?

Winning could be nice.

Living is not about strategic tragedies

Let your paths be sketched on water.

Let others feel it fresh to draw their own new paths.

Just enjoy living.

Rejoice every minute.

routine

When within myself I see….

Endless battles with no beetles.

 

I wake to etch a smile and by heart my lines.

I learn my pose and rehearse my moves.

I shoo away the real me and wear on the image I want to be.

Oh by now it is time to dwell though not well.

It is like an open dart board at the start that has eyes like oysters.

Before I realize or conclude I see darts hitting.

With eyes like oysters that only act after being hit,

I deal with gracefully clearing the dart taking my own time.

 

The earth I stand on is also a similar place with hot aggressive core.

The ocean I hover over is also similar with a lot happening.

Limerick of a soul

It is easy to handle a rose with five thorns on its stem than

One thorn under your skin.

Soul suspended aloof rejoicing in eternal purity and bliss…

Oh the guilt free times where physical pain stood in the corner.

 Melting and dripping into common life….

Adding feathers to the crown of cowardice as I move.

Wearing a tight warriors’ victory belt below the belly,

That cut guilt and shows off glory.

Something without anything Vs

Nothing with everything

Racing and roaring or roaring and racing

Away from peace is a piece of me!

Vision successful! Mission failed! Or

Mission successful! Vision lost!

I’m probably served the cashews I don’t enjoy.

I am deprived of the peanuts I like.

Ablaze or breeze … Life moves.

Efforts are on to maintain tranquility.

Can Eyes Shut?

The world turns blur when eyes brim for no certain reasons

Unable to interpret, mind spins but cannot pin up.

Eyes when shut see the gutters of thoughts the mind has.

Eyes open to feed the mind with better thoughts but blur with the brimming flows.

Ultimately the eyes cannot shut and shuttle

Shuttle between nightmares that give you spasms and

Physical pain that you subject yourself by pushing to stay up!

In similar cycles I get caught.

In a whirlpool of physical stress and mental stress

Fluttering between leaks and drains

Misery is the pragmatic myth of living.

The Lil Shell

I dunno know why I was obsessed with this little shell that was at my toe in one of the beaches I visited. It is not beautiful or lovely but still I hold on and it makes me smile. Few small silly things in life that we enjoy… and don’t care for. 

If I were

If I were a stone

I would love to be atop of a hill.

Open to the skies.

Basking in the sun, starring at the moon

Counting starts and rejoicing rains.

Ages pass by …

If I were a stone thrown into flowing waters

Ah! They cannot melt me.

Uh! There are not so strong to bruise me.

But I’m being constantly brushed!

I lose my rigidity. I lose my shape.

I am what it made me be.

I fear I may dissolve but I don’t say it aloud.

Being constantly brushed for long, they polish me.

I lose myself and am what it made me be.

If I were a planet out there!

Majestic and heavenly!

Nothing to rule me!

Headed nowhere on a long way! Yet my way!

Asteroids seem to be friends in my skies and walk with grace

Some get close to greet and perish.

Some collide and bounces to be never seen again but … they leave a dent.

Zombie with the dent for a while again I move.

Headed nowhere on a long way! Yet my way!

Tonning

Fetish in living is overlooked with the technology overdose.

It is now a great novel or movie when the little details of life are captured.

The melody of life playing on low note is dominated by the hi-pitch hi-fly life.

A little time, a little space in heart and mind shall show us …

Sweet little things for which we keep searching on the web!

Practical Experiments

The thrill of velocity is vested with the test of endurance.

Experiments are rides with life jackets.

Rides where the velocity is not pre-communicated.

Life jackets help us survive but not avoid the test of endurance.

Hold it on and Play

The only life you have and know,

Let this not slip away.

Let the moments you have not drain into the sands that dissolve you ultimately. 

No day ever is dread free.

Crossing the streams of tears is a norm that we shouldn't stop at.

Out of the womb, in every step we race!

We race towards happiness on coarse tracks.

Hold on and take the race with a smile. Don’t let the smile slip.

Who are you or I?

Who sketched the plots that we dot on?

When we did not sketch the plots, how can we take or push the blame in the game of life and living?

Who can classify deeds to be right or wrong?

Everything and everyone is just under one upper hand that dictates.

Be it boons or tragedy,

Both would remain experiences in our lives.

Puppets are you, me and anyone here.

If we do not play different roles and tints,

How would the time finish its skit?

Mid way in the sea would you give up swimming and sink?

Your life that trusts you is still clinging to you in every breath.

Can’t you take it to the shores?

Would you ditch your life just as circumstances ditched you?

You are born alone making the way from eternity to living here.

On the path of living here, be the same warrior and not expect something to walk with you.

In the dark even your shadow would desert you.

Grace is in believing there is no one with you ever.

Until the funerals it is you with you!

Slash and ignore the world around you.

Believe there is a hand that is going to hold your tears and make you get going.

Know that hand is just yours!

There is no trust in this world.

It renamed itself to betrayal.

Why would you need help from others?

Trust but not betray yourself.

On the notch of survival, on the dodge of revival, we run into graffiti of bygone.

Pass those walls quickly.

You never know there could be days when you never need to cross them again or paint over them.

Slime

A Stroke that left me wrecked  

A drain of synergy

A pain that remains a viral strains in time

The slightest tint is a hint and it strikes again.

Unable to fight flight or take the plight

The doors that swung but not slam

Now the game is so insane

The wounds that cover but tower up to ache

The voice is on a voyage of ice.

The heart beating is a continuous aches

Breathing continuous is a burden

Blinking is a blunder.

Where and when is the end?

Living a keyed carcass,

Do carcasses feel the pain too?

~ From the dairies of a trauma haunted victim. 

Etching

Theory and practice probably come from two different worlds

A matured thought in an immature mind             

Overwhelmed by the dots of life.

A game of chemistry in the brain wins it all

Thoughts are grounded as the eyes rain.

There is an erosion of thoughts in the drain.

Where is the hunger gone?

Where am I headed?

Why is there so much of void?

A feel of being soulless

It did not scold but just grew cold.

Times that tame and state

“Gulp the voice. Don’t be the noise.”

Don’t I stand the liberty to have a space that is in phase?

A wish sails undefined.

Everything is nullified when there is no harmony with your soul.

The best

Distance and silence...

Are the only bonds between the skies and earth.

The long standing relationship where life flourishes.

Fastest Ride

There is a medium of communication even the stones can speak. Faster than what you can read, quicker than the language you can hear. Faster than light or anything imaginable. Thinking what I am talking about? It’s the wonderful human brain and thought process. Amazing, sometimes it’s the sight of something; sometimes it’s the sound of something that kick the fastest ride “past – present – future” even before we realize and recognize. You may be lost in some voluntary thoughts yet the subconscious mind sometimes overpowers and kicks off the ride. Just like precipitously sailing on high tides we shift focus.

World is all

With Eyes and my feet being the same and hands being behind my eyes, all I get to see is the only world and not my definition. Glad that there is something the hands can hold/ help!

A rolling ball is so

busy rolling and denting itself that it hardly gets to notice the mass it gathers. 

ZERO

Zero! The biggest closed space that can let you go wild yet be unheard/ ignored

Zero! The biggest space that you can start filling with anything you like.

Zero! Promises you a relaxation before you start again as panicking doesn’t work

Zero! We would not like being there ……

New Look

I just find this beauty stand right out my balcony. As soon as I wake up and refresh, this is the first that greets me. I just love this young green.

Sweet dreams

A dream that I we wish was/ is true…

Sometimes we wake up happy for feeling the experience at-least for a while in a dream.

Sometimes we wake up and it is a pain to accept the present with bitter pills.

Weighing the happiness Vs the pain,

Should we wish for sweet dreams that can never come true?

Should we wish for longer sleep as it kills more time in sleep?

Should we wish for no sleep to avoid the pain of overcoming to be back in reality?

How is it ...

How I feel it was all just yesterday?

How I reel to the past every blink?

How can I relate to the present ever wake?

How I feel wish either the past or the present, one is dream.

How is it that ages have past so fast?

How is it I still feel the same kiss of air?

How is it that I still wonder what and how?

How! How and How……….

I am ...

I have a weird feeling that I probably never shared with anyone so far. Not sure if I am the only one going through this. May be its easy to undergo than to stand by, see and imagine what a person is going through!

When I give a thought to pain (emotional or physical) of others, there is a sort of numbness I feel, lowness and my heart that soon sinks thinking how they cope up with. The pain would not be something the person declares to be a pain but something I think would be a pain.  Something like an injury, health issues, surviving a tragedy, working to overcome trauma, losing a person near and dear to you, or distanced/ broken/ troubled relationships, going through stillness in life …..

There are a couple of things that I have been through but still get moved when others are put through the similar. Sometimes it is so stupid as I push too hard on myself. I would actually be exhausted and almost be collapsing. But when there is another person not near collapsing but is seeking relaxation, I feel one slogging is better than two ruining their time. There could be times when I am convinced and compromised but when there is someone also who needs to compromise, I would rather bend myself even down so that net-net at least one is satisfied. When I know someone already does not have a good impression I would not try to mend it but prove and leave it to their realization. All these someones may not be my buddies of family but almost anyone I come across. Sometimes I may have n things against them yet do the same. I dunno why!

This puts me through frustration sometimes but the bottom line remains ….. I try, sob, but absorb it all in silence! 

I do not know what a feel this is or what is it worth! But often find myself going through this. 

Should I Sympathize?

No! Not at all!

I have seen people suddenly sympathise death of unruly people also.

Why does this happen? How can someone turn god just because they can trouble us no more?

I can understand even the worst person is good to someone.

Theory seems fine but practically it may differ.