I am ...

I have a weird feeling that I probably never shared with anyone so far. Not sure if I am the only one going through this. May be its easy to undergo than to stand by, see and imagine what a person is going through!

When I give a thought to pain (emotional or physical) of others, there is a sort of numbness I feel, lowness and my heart that soon sinks thinking how they cope up with. The pain would not be something the person declares to be a pain but something I think would be a pain.  Something like an injury, health issues, surviving a tragedy, working to overcome trauma, losing a person near and dear to you, or distanced/ broken/ troubled relationships, going through stillness in life …..

There are a couple of things that I have been through but still get moved when others are put through the similar. Sometimes it is so stupid as I push too hard on myself. I would actually be exhausted and almost be collapsing. But when there is another person not near collapsing but is seeking relaxation, I feel one slogging is better than two ruining their time. There could be times when I am convinced and compromised but when there is someone also who needs to compromise, I would rather bend myself even down so that net-net at least one is satisfied. When I know someone already does not have a good impression I would not try to mend it but prove and leave it to their realization. All these someones may not be my buddies of family but almost anyone I come across. Sometimes I may have n things against them yet do the same. I dunno why!

This puts me through frustration sometimes but the bottom line remains ….. I try, sob, but absorb it all in silence! 

I do not know what a feel this is or what is it worth! But often find myself going through this.