I have been thinking of writing this “My true love” since a couple of days but could not snatch a nap while to do so. I don’t know what is that craziest thing that’s making me write at this hour of life when I am exhausted like never before, eyelids falling free to gravity and I wear a crown of to-dos that I cant remove. I am desperate to write this and tell the world “MY TRUE LOVE!!” for I fear losing it though I swear shall strive my best.
Practical life taught me the art of masking and making things right for my mask to stay on. Soon I could master it well and make picture perfect things for near ones I cant separate from. No harm intended. May be its just a
bargain to buy a little good time as I prepared myself to face the reality and let my near ones enjoy a little more time. Everyone around me was happy believing what they see. That induced happiness into me. Even I looked happy though deep in me I knew I am masking and this is not me. I encapsulated the shaky me in the mask that serves armor to the ongoing war within me. The punishment was in every second, every deed, every feel and every thought that it is the mask that people react to my mask and not me. All the pleasure is for the mask and me enjoying in disguise.
With different flavors of life, I started to try a flavor everyone JUST talks about. May be it’s a fragrance everyone talks about but cant afford to experience or cant dare to stand it. It’s something that most fake around but may not try to wear it on. You already know I am talking all about my true love with “HONESTY”. I have lost a lot after being in love with honesty. After losing a few, I myself felt what is the fun in having the rest? And let situations throw everything into the flames, as I meet eyes with my love. Is my love worth all this? Is it too late? I felt may be I would finally throw myself into the flames and let my love see me and just see me …..
But there is a difference. My love with honesty has built something in me. Something strong… This time it’s a strong me, covered by brittle mask my near and dear are trying to press on me. The may be doing this as a favor to me but I don’t need it anymore. My love has filled me with something that makes me strong enough. It reenergized me. I have new energies flowing in me. My love has without a word made all this for me. A feel, a strength, a courage ….. all beyond words.
I don’t know if I can stand with you. But if I stand it shall be
I stand with you to be looked down.
I stand with you to be betrayed.
I stand with you to suffer.
I stand with you to be perfect in this imperfect world.
I stand with you to be destroyed.
I stand with you to swim in the holy guilt free river.
I stand with you after losing everything …. to be lost forever.
I stand with you to be lost
Practical life taught me the art of masking and making things right for my mask to stay on. Soon I could master it well and make picture perfect things for near ones I cant separate from. No harm intended. May be its just a
bargain to buy a little good time as I prepared myself to face the reality and let my near ones enjoy a little more time. Everyone around me was happy believing what they see. That induced happiness into me. Even I looked happy though deep in me I knew I am masking and this is not me. I encapsulated the shaky me in the mask that serves armor to the ongoing war within me. The punishment was in every second, every deed, every feel and every thought that it is the mask that people react to my mask and not me. All the pleasure is for the mask and me enjoying in disguise.With different flavors of life, I started to try a flavor everyone JUST talks about. May be it’s a fragrance everyone talks about but cant afford to experience or cant dare to stand it. It’s something that most fake around but may not try to wear it on. You already know I am talking all about my true love with “HONESTY”. I have lost a lot after being in love with honesty. After losing a few, I myself felt what is the fun in having the rest? And let situations throw everything into the flames, as I meet eyes with my love. Is my love worth all this? Is it too late? I felt may be I would finally throw myself into the flames and let my love see me and just see me …..
But there is a difference. My love with honesty has built something in me. Something strong… This time it’s a strong me, covered by brittle mask my near and dear are trying to press on me. The may be doing this as a favor to me but I don’t need it anymore. My love has filled me with something that makes me strong enough. It reenergized me. I have new energies flowing in me. My love has without a word made all this for me. A feel, a strength, a courage ….. all beyond words.
I don’t know if I can stand with you. But if I stand it shall be
I stand with you to be looked down.
I stand with you to be betrayed.
I stand with you to suffer.
I stand with you to be perfect in this imperfect world.
I stand with you to be destroyed.
I stand with you to swim in the holy guilt free river.
I stand with you after losing everything …. to be lost forever.
I stand with you to be lost
My dear you have made me strong. With the new hope, don’t you think I ll get inclined to the
blind world and not be with you? I am left with a choice to flow with the world and encapsulate a shaky me in a tough mask or be with you a strong me with a brittle mask that I don’t mind being ripped off for now. What do I do? Should I still have faith in you and believe you blind to see how well you washout? I see it’s just suffering, tears, depression and something strong within me that I cant put in words that you can buy for me.
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