I have a weird feeling that I probably never shared with
anyone so far. Not sure if I am the only one going through this. May be its
easy to undergo than to stand by, see and imagine what a person is going
through!
When I give a thought to pain (emotional or physical) of
others, there is a sort of numbness I feel, lowness and my heart that soon
sinks thinking how they cope up with. The pain would not be something the
person declares to be a pain but something I think would be a pain. Something like an injury, health issues, surviving
a tragedy, working to overcome trauma, losing a person near and dear to you, or
distanced/ broken/ troubled relationships, going through stillness in life …..
There are a couple of things that I have been through but
still get moved when others are put through the similar. Sometimes it is so
stupid as I push too hard on myself. I would actually be exhausted and almost
be collapsing. But when there is another person not near collapsing but is
seeking relaxation, I feel one slogging is better than two ruining their time. There
could be times when I am convinced and compromised but when there is someone
also who needs to compromise, I would rather bend myself even down so that
net-net at least one is satisfied. When I know someone already does not have a
good impression I would not try to mend it but prove and leave it to their
realization. All these someones may not be my buddies of family but almost
anyone I come across. Sometimes I may have n things against them yet do the
same. I dunno why!
This puts me through frustration sometimes but the bottom
line remains ….. I try, sob, but absorb it all in silence!
I do not know what a
feel this is or what is it worth! But often find myself going through this.
