How is it i like ...

I am least bothered of:

Glamour quotient, skill set, fame equation, financial quotient …….

All that matters is natural quotient and practical quotient.

Gender, beauty, occupation are no bars.

Region, religion, Language, caste-creed ...
dont matter at all.

Let them not impress me or depress me.

Let me not impress them or depress them.

Let’s simply walk down the aisles of life.

Neither you my way nor me your way.

We are not here to assess each other.

There are no criteria for assessment.

Let the heavens play a spell that may fall upon us…..

Let us unintentional happen to notice each other’s virtues.

Let me happen to admire you.

Let me feel relaxed and comfortable to accept your flaws to the extent needed.

I am not following you closely, let it just happen that I see ….

How you react on seeing a flower,

How you react in agony and surprises.

How you react, act and enact.

Let all the same happen to you too.

With blessings from heavens we become friends.

Lets party our friendship!

In the bright light of trust,

Amidst the no faking zone,

With the fragrance of frankness,

Sharing pain and glee,

Helping is the gift I assure you as long as the party lasts.

And I know you would gift me the same.

I hope I have many such parties.

Alas!! There is a scarcity!!

Party is a good thing, but not an essential right. Laaa lalalaaa ....

"DISTANCE"

Distance…. distance….. Distance has no limits.

Having written the same exam by time in life,

Having given the same answers,

We still stand with different questions…..

Having travelled together in the same boat,

We still reached different destinations of destiny.

It’s the same past and the same truth that we may burry to move further.

Broken into pieces, each is paired with a different world to live in.

So close that “Distance” cant see.

“Distance” couldn’t make its way then.

It creeps between couples to split them apart and shows it can make ways.

“Distance” that had been alone with no friends and relatives,
“Distance” that is jealous for it always experiences only loneliness,

“Distance” breaks the relations between people and feels proud of the accomplishment.

“Distance” is growing strong by preying on the bitter silence between the two.
“Distance” is glowing bright in the darkness of split between the two.

At a distance that I can’t take a single step away from you.

At a distance that I can’t move an inch from you.

A distance of seven steps is creating a distance that is distant for distances themselves to measure.

“Distance” changes its own words from a milestone to milestone.

“Distance” changes its orientation on every turn.
The knot is going to make my life’s distance a thorny way all through.

“Distance” promises to erase all the endless facts.

But with distance, your vision is only blurred to look at those facts.

Memory is the worst enemy of distance with emotions like guilt and grievance as its tools.

For, it is still capable of letting you swim back in time at the cost of negligibly little time.

It’s never a journey dear, if you forget the start point.

So it’s never possible to actually forget the past.

You will have to master the art of learning to live with it.

“ME” to ….mmmMMEEeee….

I was ……

Very independent.
I drew limits, and took an oath not to cross.
I had limited dreams to reach.
Some big, some small.
But I had the courage and dedication to reach them practically.

I made room for the exceptions that may come along.

I am enough to make a move.

I am a confident 21st centaury girl.

Life is short; I need to do a lot.
Family and relationships took front seat in my life.

Exceptions become my life!

And plans became exceptions that could hardly happen.
Shaken with the disasters, I am left in trauma.

Now I am ….

Cant do regular things independently.

Depend on others to make my basics that I am ashamed to tell out.
Lack courage to stand and look around, I prefer to hide and peep.
I have dreams unfulfilled, but when regular deeds look dreadful, dreams now are only nightmares.
I don’t understand how I once, or people around me now, move around with such ease.
Was I ever so? Is being so practically possible?
Let me consult, if I can be made to move?
I am like the touch me not. Don’t make me cry.
I wonder why should a family mean anything to me.
Why am I alone so bothered?
Life is a pain and a burden. Why doesn’t it end?

Can’t I ever get back my previous virtues? Is it any worth me being a sack on the sea shore?

Gratitude!!

It may be insignificantly small for you but

The reflections could be elegant to me.
You may not count on it but I do.

I may look small and may not be able to help you.

But doesn’t mean I can let you be harmed.

But can you, who helped me account to be forgiven forever?
Does the help you do serve an investment to eternity?
How much should I let go?

Party!!!

The cool breeze slaps out all burdens…..
Claps in for the party.
Inviting everything around.
Says Cheers!!
All the leaves respond to the breeze.
Clapping and saying cheers!!
I may not clap with hands but I still sync.
My tresses raise cheers first.
Breeze tickles every pore on me....
And then I am already in the party.
I am smiling back already.
I am in the best party.
The most impartial party that invites everything around.

The breeze Sings low and high.
The most peaceful and good souls ever,
The trees and plants, dance, sing, sway and greet …...
( For sure they are not drunk )
What music can please you more than this?
Which air conditioner can give you better conditioning?
What can feast your eyes more than nature?

Rain washes out every old look.
Brings in a new fragrance, a fresh appeal each time like never before.
The rain drops are like special gifts heaven is sending for me.
In this vast universe where I am insignificantly small…..
It gifts me so many tiny drops dropping from heavens above.
Looks like the number of drops in the rain is the number of souls that existed so far,
Coming down to greet me and give all the surplus energy I need.
I may be alone or in a group.
But there are actually so many with me.
Each time I rejoice like never before.
Sometimes it brings the naughty me out.

The best thing about this party is …
There is no invitation.
I need not worry where I am, I can choose to attend it.
No matter I am happy or sad,
The party ensures I enjoy.

Trauma

Traumas are the tantrums life throws at you for the sin of destiny not utilizing the opportunity to end.
May be the greed to survive, utilizes all your strength to escape and so shall you be punished.
Traumas re-format your brain to tint every experience terrifying.
Silly, serious, similar or sane yet it can still be terrifying.
Trauma is like the saline that flows though living into you.
So do you cut living from your life?
Given trauma and torture,
If one experiences trauma, they would call torture without trauma, a heavenly thing.
I want a berth on land to shrink into earth.

After writing the lines above. My reformatted brain gives a bright tint as a contrast…….. may be just to enhance trauma. Being in trauma, I sugarcoat myself enough not to traumatize others. Its ok if I torture them. But let them not be traumatized. Let me work a vaccine to their trauma. This could also be the meaning of my living.

It’s the strong that face the competition.
Not everyone can compete.
Tragedy is the course that many drop off to eternity.
I could push myself to complete it successfully.
Trauma is the examination after completing this course.
I am half way through already.
Just incase I succeed in this exam,
Probably there is a huge credit waiting for me ………… (What say?)
Why not play till I come across “Game over”
“Game over” is anyways inevitable.
Why rush to it, lets see what more rounds the game has….
Who knows, you may have a bonus life in the next level …..

From the dairies of a trauma haunted victim.

Confession!

Ask me why am I not writing much these days? Again I would call upon my true love. I don’t want to sugarcoat anything much. I cannot be honest. So I choose to be silent for a while or better for ever rather than being dishonest. Even now I have some posts that I seriously want to put up. But may be I should give more thoughts on it before I actually do.

There are a lot of pending posts. Both good and bad. Hesitation in putting up few ….. and the aggressive me coming up with bold posts is what that is tying up me as of now. But today I plan to push up a few posts. It’s been a bad day. Don’t ask me why? For its all silly and for sure I won’t remember or I don’t want to remember. Sleep pouring in ………. I still want to write…………