Changing Times

Times … When I did something, and looked up on who is going to clap.

Times … When I did something and frantically looked around to mend things before someone sees.

I got goodies and candies to celebrate accomplishments and learnings.

All those times when I was a kid as I grew.

Times … When I did something and sometimes people appreciate. 

Times … When I did something, and knew I need to acknowledge and mend.

I got folded cards that I could open with a smile. They were not delicious but gave a good feel.

All those time when was a teen and young adult.

Times … When I did something and people accept everything done. 

Times … When I did something, explain the failure, own to mend and learn it soon.

No credits or mentoring. Only hear on what is not being done though the feasibility may be feeble.

This is adulthood. 

The promised Wings

The wings that take you on a ride though the world

The wings that flap to make it to you.

The wings that are promised to you to be yours and help you fly in glee.

When you are fuming and burning yourself,

The wings do not come to you as they fear burning their feathers.

For you are to relieve yourself off the flames of anger.

The reason for the flames could be sane or insane

The story could be told or untold.

The flames and the heat could be true.

Fight out of the flames. You need to do a pride show

Showing off your coolness

And welcome the wings again with a cheering ceremony.

You need to workout of your anger all by yourself.

Grow strong. Let the flames not ignite again.

Be your own strength and use the wings as your accessory only.

When you promise to be the wings,

Would you fear the flames and rain?

Do you want them to go through what you didn’t like?

Live strong to be able to regrow your feathers and not flee.

The feeling of being content is bliss.

Tame Vs Fame

Jim, a garbage collector visited every house in the society, collected the waste and disposed the garbage safely. He did this religiously over years. Each house in the society paid him very nominal.  

Jim had to stay away from work for 40 days and asked his friend Jack to continue the activity. Jack did not see a value add for himself doing this but could not turn down his friend. 

While Jim was away, Jack did nothing. The society soon started to stink rot and people started having allergies. 30 days past, Jack went around the society asking people not to panic but to cooperate. Jack got a truck to clear the garbage and dumped it 2 miles away from the society. Jack was appreciated for the initiative and got paid. Jack has also planted the seed for his next reap 2 miles away.

Jim tamed the society while Jack aimed Fame. We often do not appreciate the true efforts put into taming the situations for us but clap for something in fame. Are we rational?

Monster 3D

As I lull to sleep, the curtains to the real-world drop.

Then raises the 3-D monster of imagination.

Silence around is the conducting medium.

Darkness is the center stage.

Ordeals the director of the play

As I start to relive the painful past in the dream, the ME in me kicks me to open my eyes

No! No! No! it’s not true. It is over! Not again! Hurls the ME in me

Don’t let trauma prey your time and peace yet again.

You have a pleasant present.

I am with you and shall not let trauma conquer you says the Me in me.

Hurray! Finally I am able to identify trauma and see it from a distance.

As trauma hits again and again the ME in me is at guard.

Again and again and again I lull and punch the trauma that is trying to take me.

Who is it to triumph?

As I take pride in the Me guarding me and shooing away the Trauma behind curtains.

The monster rests as I run errands and chores

Harnessing energies! I complete the day as it is supposed to be.

I do not want to raise a toast to the monster and so,

Do not compromise the activities of the day.

As though the monster never existed!

 

The moment I tend to relax, As I lull to sleep,

The curtains to the real-world drop.

Then raises the 3-D monster of imagination.

Silence around is the conducting medium.

Darkness is the stage where Ordeals director the play

Days last the battle that sticks my eyes open

For I cannot watch the monster do a show.

Lack of sleep, gives raise to different monster friend.

And now they are 2 and ME alone.

The violent mind seems to be possessed already!

How I wish not to have this battle ……..

Cannot stick my eyes open for ever.

The monster is not yet tamed

The ME is not yet strong enough.

How I wish rain, pain or drain!! May I get some sleep ……….

From the dairies of a trauma haunted victim.

Walking dawn to DUSK

Light fades …..

More greets by darkness

Focus on the aim is lost but vision is on.

Vision keeps the frozen feet walking in the dark.

Walk to just that goal that you no longer see. 

When the mornings of life are by gone,

Walk in Dusk is inevitable until the ultimate rest.

Make the visions strong and clear to know the moves to make.

Live Freeze

In a tireless journey to a picturesque place up town to make a living, I think I left the life behind. Here I stand with something in me but some element missing. I wanted to shed the past behind and leave a forever angry face at it. How I realize, maintaining the forever angry face at it is ruining my energy. Is this just the bald season just before the vibrant spring? Or is it a grave that is forever going to remain grey?

ACCEPTANCE! I accept it as my tragic past but why do tears flow all afresh! The years past could not deter the dedication to the fears past. The loyalty of trauma remains despite of efforts to drain it. Nature has its own way to bless and curse. It is often the best for you.

Amidst the anguish of shattering that I run from but did not master to cope with, I come face to face with a humble talented artist wearing the same costume of the Villon of the past that the artist is unaware of. The poor humble artist has only this costume and is here to perform an act of elegance. How can I turn my back to the artist who is right in my court? How can I disgust him for just wearing on a costume that is from my painful past that he is unaware of? How can I show him down on the only costume he has? Hence, I stand to cheer his performance. I freeze my feet to be very much at the show, as I push my mind to appreciate the talented artist. How do I silence the me in me to stay quite and calm?

I know the pain of the past is not worth my time and energy. The trauma shall not tame me for the worthless. How? How? and how do I live this present? Something that gives me a very sharp pain but can I silence the unrest? Is “Forgiveness”  my way as I cannot retaliate to the Villon, I just cannot accept but may be if I am willing to forgive the Villon of the past, I can have a better present. Somehow the me in me is silenced now but I do not even see it now. There is a whole lot of emptiness in me. There is no pain but tons of numbness riveting me tight. Should I stay easy for nothing now hurts? Should I crave for the living elements? Should I just let this solidify me? Should I ever dream of a spring?

Bruising myself constantly with trauma that cannot kill me. I am still in the battle of living in a beautiful life.

- Of the dairies of a trauma haunted victim. 

Life on a Safari

Well that is the living for women in India. I would not corner the case to India but just do not want to talk about other nations that I am not aware of.

The wild are free and the helpless are caged. This is how a safari is. Alas! Relatively innocent are asked to get home early or hold onto a shoulder while the beasts are free. Even if someone spots a drunk person misbehaving or a group of perverts, they just pass by them and do nothing. Instead of cornering the nonsense we advise the sensible to make a wise decision in avoiding those folks.

It is not a problem that a man is being wild. But it is a problem that a girl is returning late or venturing out to a New Year Party, or walking on a deserted street or in a mob (honestly it is no matter what). Why is this? Why are the women unsafe? Is it not because of those people who go wild? Should the wild be cornered or the …? Well when the wild are free, we are forced to be caged! That is life on a Safari.

Ruthlessly our society overlooks the people behaving wild because it is not yet that big of a crime! We also have a tolerance level equal to a registered crime! 

A potential victim sensing threat is looked on as nerd as nothing has happened yet. 

A potential criminal gets no glares. 

A victim already in pain is pacified with statements like "action would be decided and taken". 

A criminal is at leisure in a game that might punish. 

A victim suffers from the time the incident happens. 

A criminal is gifted more time for something unpleasant to start.   

A victim is thrown to unearned drastic situations.

A criminal is punished with well planned, tried and tested, well explained earned situations.

Situations would not improve until we learn to pluck the tender weed instead of axing it later when the damage is done and irreversible. Shame on everyone who is facilitating this Safari. Starts right from a mother who doesn’t question her kin on their where abouts to the police men who do not react to people getting wild. Indeed, for revenue, we facilitate wildness boasters like sanctioning more and more alcohol shops where not needed and expect the already crazy to be wise! 

Until then, all we can wish is, let the wild be blessed with disaster and trauma that leaves them just as shaken as an innocent victim. When all preaching fails, experience never fail to preach it loud and clear. Let the heavens shower some courage such that all of us have enough to stand up against the incorrect. Most of the times, victims live in a well of trauma. A world slow poison that has for ever made them blue! even they stand indifferent to situations as long as it does not involve them.